New parents, save your emotional energy with these coping mechanisms

If you're looking to save a few bucks, unfortunately you won't find that in this post! However, it is important to save your emotional energy when you come across parental criticisms.

Unless you are a perfect parent with a perfect child in a perfect world, you will face a few criticisms as a new parent. You may be told that you are worrying too much (or too little!), that you should (or shouldn't!) be following "the book" or Kid A should be developing like Kid B. I know for a fact that I have raised eyebrows when I change my baby's diaper (she refuses to lie down for this and I'm not going to stuff her in a straitjacket first!) and for not sleep training my daughter.

When others feel they need to give their unnecessary two cents, I've used the following to talk me through. I have to give credit to Dr. Sears though, the "Dr. Spock" of our generation. His article, "Handling Criticism" is a great resource — it's directed to parents with "high-need babies", yet I believe it's applicable to any mom and dad.

Consider the Generation of the "Critic": Parenting resources and baby items have significantly changed in the last 30 years. My daughter is 16 months old and diapers have already changed a bit (i.e. I didn't have the wetness indicators on NB diapers). So let's face it, if the critic is a lot older, you have to remind yourself that they're not aware of today's baby care methods.

The "Critic" doesn't know my baby: When I first faced criticisms, my anxiety level hit the roof: Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I'm not fit to be a parent! So-and-So has had a baby before, maybe she knows more than I do. But you know what? Those people don't know my baby like I do. Each baby is different and one thing may work for one and not the other. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I still doubt myself. BUT the difference is that I take the time to remind myself that my daughter is healthy, thriving and happy. What I do works for her.

It takes awhile to talk yourself out of worrying about other opinions — and I am still working on it too! — but I think as your baby gets older, you become more confident in yourself as a parent.

Thoughts?