|Casey Palmer with his newborn son|
I'm Not Dead, I'm Just A Dad - And Baby Makes Three
...It’s only two weeks later and I’ve already learned a lot. The best way to put him to bed. What it sounds like when he’s going to cry. How to change diapers and give baths without horrible freak-outs. Baby paraphernalia that seemed like a good idea, but ultimately proved otherwise. All this is a mere glimpse of what lies ahead, but I don’t regret it.
I’ve always said that there was more than the life I was living. More than social media, more than swag, more than free trips, booze, food or VIP invites. While this is only the beginning of the longest chapter in The Book of Casey yet, I see it every time I look in my child’s face — I can do this. Everything I’ve learned, done and experienced was only for my sake for a bit. Ultimately, though, all that will mould and shape this little guy through my efforts. I can either create the greatest Palmer of them all — or perhaps I’ll fall short and rend him another statistic.
But it’s on me. The choices I make, the actions they take — maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for decades — but I’ll see what effect they have in the generation ahead.
And that legacy is something worth putting my soul into.
So how’s fatherhood? It’s good — while I’m clearly just the guy who changes diapers, sings ridiculous lullabies, gives sink baths and bundles him up for bed, I have my role and I play it. It might be hard to see now, but I will impact my child’s life, a notion that some fathers perhaps forget all too easily.
It’s not perfect all the time, but if I were to shy away simply because of that, there’s not much in life I’d do at all if I applied the same logic to the rest of it.
Parenthood isn’t for everyone, and it seems daunting at first, but like everything, it takes practice. You’re never going to do everything right — in fact, you may have some colossal screw-ups — but a life without learning is a life not lived.
So here’s to the rest of my life. Here’s to seeing this little man grow and change as the years fly by. Here’s to not forgetting who I was before, always remembering to bridge the gap between Casey the Man and Casey the Dad. Here’s to raising someone who can do all the things I could not, and lives the best life that he possibly can with all the things I can give him.