Save your emotional energy: Part II

So I think I need to clarify something from my last post, "New parents, save your emotional energy with these coping mechanisms," as it's important to respond to the "Critic" with an open mind. There's no need to plug your ears, give the Critic the middle finger and avoid him or her forever. In fact, I believe it's important to listen to everyone because you never know what you'll learn. From speaking with other moms, I learned how to pack formula when I'm on the go; that it's not the end of the world if I buy jars of baby food; and that a bit of fresh air with your kid really does make a difference.

So before making a decision as to whether or not you're receiving unwanted comments, maybe try this thought process:

-Listen
-Observe if necessary (i.e. diaper changes, playing, etc)
-Ask yourself if the comment actually applies to you
-Then make a decision

Of course, it's easier said than done, but once you get the hang of it, you don't feel stressed when criticism happens. I highly encourage interacting and listening to other moms because you will learn A LOT. I don't know about other moms, but when I first had my daughter, the lack of sleep wasn't allowing me to think rationally. Sometimes a simple piece of advice (i.e. "you need 'me' time!") did (and still does!) positive wonders on me. Quite simply, everyone is entitled to their opinion — it's up to you to decide what to do with it.

New parents, save your emotional energy with these coping mechanisms

If you're looking to save a few bucks, unfortunately you won't find that in this post! However, it is important to save your emotional energy when you come across parental criticisms.

Unless you are a perfect parent with a perfect child in a perfect world, you will face a few criticisms as a new parent. You may be told that you are worrying too much (or too little!), that you should (or shouldn't!) be following "the book" or Kid A should be developing like Kid B. I know for a fact that I have raised eyebrows when I change my baby's diaper (she refuses to lie down for this and I'm not going to stuff her in a straitjacket first!) and for not sleep training my daughter.

When others feel they need to give their unnecessary two cents, I've used the following to talk me through. I have to give credit to Dr. Sears though, the "Dr. Spock" of our generation. His article, "Handling Criticism" is a great resource — it's directed to parents with "high-need babies", yet I believe it's applicable to any mom and dad.

Consider the Generation of the "Critic": Parenting resources and baby items have significantly changed in the last 30 years. My daughter is 16 months old and diapers have already changed a bit (i.e. I didn't have the wetness indicators on NB diapers). So let's face it, if the critic is a lot older, you have to remind yourself that they're not aware of today's baby care methods.

The "Critic" doesn't know my baby: When I first faced criticisms, my anxiety level hit the roof: Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I'm not fit to be a parent! So-and-So has had a baby before, maybe she knows more than I do. But you know what? Those people don't know my baby like I do. Each baby is different and one thing may work for one and not the other. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I still doubt myself. BUT the difference is that I take the time to remind myself that my daughter is healthy, thriving and happy. What I do works for her.

It takes awhile to talk yourself out of worrying about other opinions — and I am still working on it too! — but I think as your baby gets older, you become more confident in yourself as a parent.

Thoughts?

Don't throw away useful samples!

We live in a small place, so my husband always wants to get rid of things. "These clothes don't fit — can't you use donate them?!" (What if I have another baby and my body shape fluctuates?) "We aren't going to use these coupons, I'm throwing them away." (I will gladly pass these on to someone who will use them.) "Do you have to keep your old magazines?" (Okay, so maybe I don't need to store YM and Teen People, but to the magazine junkie like myself, these are collector items!)

Before and after my daughter was born, I received countless samples from baby registry swag bags and consumer shows. These included Penaten (P.S. one little tin goes a long way!) and Similac Mom snack drinks. A week ago, my daughter woke up crying at the top of her lungs, super congested. Then a thought popped into my head: I still have an unopened sample of a baby chest rub! Out came the little tube of Aleva Naturals Breathe Easy Chest Rub. That little bit of this cream saved my night.

So lesson learned here: Keep some baby samples on hand for a little while — you never know when you'll need them. But before you try them, just make sure you check the expiry date.

Diapers and In The Night Garden

First off, let me say how disappointed I am at the diaper sales for the past few weeks. Diapers from all brands have started at about $0.19 per diaper, going up to as high as $0.29! However, I was at a Superstore in Mississauga and they have an in-store coupon for Huggies Snug & Dry for $3 off. I don't remember the count, but a size-3 box with the coupon was $0.16 per diaper. Unfortunately, I recently bought a box of Pampers 222 count (and with a stupid coupon they totaled at $0.18 per diaper!), so ... I'm stuck with that for now.

On the plus side, I discovered a thrift store called Talize. I never bothered to figure out what it was all about. However, I saw their sign in Brampton that said "Discover the new Power of Thrift" so I thought, "Okay, why not?" Well, thank goodness I did check it out because I found an In The Night Garden doll for $1.99 and it talks, too My daughter absolutely LOVES this show and Upsy Daisy, the doll below, is her favourite character. (Like many first-time adult viewers, I totally found the show weird at first (uh...Makka Pakka and Hahoo?!), but then I discovered it was made by the creators of Teletubbies, so it all made sense.)

My friend was asking me the best days to visit thrift stores for good finds and to be honest ... I can't think of any best days. (But if you know the secret, let me know please!) From my experience, it's been a luck of the draw. Sometimes you find things, sometimes you leave empty handed. So if you're trying to save some bucks on toys ... just keep checking out the thrift stores whenever you can. But come spring and summer time, it'll be garage-sale season, so those will be fun to sift through!

Free portrait from Black's!

Black's is doing a free portrait from Feb. 3-14, 2012.

Here's the link for details:

http://www.blacks.ca/User/feeds/blog/id/9370

Just want to say thanks to my cousin for passing on the tip!

Price matching

I live by a monthly budget and in order to keep it up to par, I combine two money-saving methods: couponing AND price matching. The best places to price match? In my experience, Walmart, No Frills and Freshco. However, occasionally you'll get a lazy cashier who doesn't want to price match an gives some lame excuse. So if I have time, I just take my items and go to another cashier.

I've had a lot of friends ask me how price matching works, so here's what I do: I get my flyers from my local newspaper, star/circle items that I need and are at a good price. Then I also note on the flyers which items I have coupons for. So let's say I go to Walmart and I want to price match formula that's on sale at Zellers AND I have a $5-off coupon: I simply go to the Walmart cashier, show them the Zellers. They'll charge me Zellers' price, then take $5 off. Simple, right?

But when you're price matching, you do need to take note of the following:

• Pay attention to the flyer dates, in particular, items that are only on sale from "Fri-Sun." 
• Some retailers are ridiculously picky with fruits and vegetables. For instance, I tried to price match bananas from a competitor, but a cashier said I couldn't because the bananas weren't from the country the competitor stated. 
• Occasionally there are limits to the number of items you can price match (i.e. maybe you want to price match six cartons of juice, but the store will only allow you to match four of them).

I'm not going to lie — sometimes this method is tedious and when you have a toddler circling your feet, it can get frustrating. However, I've been able to save up to 75% on items solely through price matching and couponing. In the past, I've paid $0.25 for a box of Catelli Healthy Harvest pasta, $12 for 900g of Similac Go and Grow formula, $0.97 for a box of Nestle baby cereal and $1.97 for a box of Heinz Nutrios.

Oh yea, one more tip: Don't throw away the flyers just because you think you're done shopping for the week! What if you need to do last-minute shopping?

And don't be afraid to ask retailers about price matching! What are they going to do, send you to the principal's office for asking?

Where to find coupons

I am an avid couponer, though not crazy enough to be on Extreme Couponing! Really, in Canada, you can't practice couponing as freely as those in the U.S. (But if you know a way, PLEASE let me know!). However, I try my best to use coupons when the time calls for it. Wondering where I find my coupons? Here's a quick list of links for your reference:

-Pampers
-Huggies
-Think Coupons
-Websaver
-Save.ca
-Go Coupons
-P&G Brandsaver
-Heinz Baby
-Nestle

You'll have to join their mailing lists or make an account to get coupons/choose coupons, but it's not a big deal. Where do you find your coupons? Let me know!

P.S. Yes, I do have a coupon book! Best places to find coupon books? Dollar stores, baby!